No, this isn’t a farewell post. Rather, I want to talk about the idea of the “last time” one does something. One time, my mom mentioned to me how strange it is that there is a last time for everything, but you very seldom know it is happening. Thus, the last time I asked my mom to read me a story, the last time my dad took me to the playground, and other such memories were simply normal at the time. There was no sense whatsoever that it was the last time.
However, my mom was wrong about one thing: she said that if we knew it was the last time, it would be unbearable. This, in my experience, is not the case. I am about to graduate. Today was my last chance to get a sandwich from Benson Center and bring it back to my room to eat it. Soon will be the last time I sleep in a dorm room. My last college class as an undergraduate is already over, though I do have a few finals. Last night was my last chance to linger outside after my philosophy discussion group talking to friends, and today was my last meeting/long discussion with my Classics advisor. All of the beautiful and the unpleasant things about college will be over in one week. And it is bearable, though sad. I walk in to Benson center and order my food, just like any other time. I say “see you later” to people I may never see again. In short, I just act like its not over, and I’ll probably act like that until it is completely.
However, I don’t wish to be merely sentimental here. I believe that there is something in this impulse. If we all have a tendency towards God, perhaps we know somehow that these good things will someday be fulfilled. Perhaps I say “see you later” knowing that with prayer and sacrifice I will someday once again linger with the same friends, and have in greater measure all the good things I am losing.
Which isn’t to say I hope Heaven has the same caterers as Benson. I kind of hope not, actually.
